agh!

I need to sit here and write for a bit to clear my head. I looked at what I wrote last time and I am having the exact same issue. All I seem to do is have the same issues over and over again. I feel the internal pressure rise, I need to do something. I stress myself every day – I have to do that, I should be doing this. I can never go with the flow, I have to be stressed and convinced I am doing the wrong thing. I want to read and I want to work on a book. Writing is the only task I do not get bored of, every day is filled with words, speech. Cognitive distortions. I like it because I can talk to myself as much as I want here and I don’t sound insane. But yes, I am struggling once more with my brain and its outputs. I ate a beautiful breakfast, can bask in the sun all day if I wanted to, I live a wonderful and whole life. and yet I keep swirling around the same pot of ideas. I want to do something different. I want to follow a dream. I need to write more, write a book, be a human and an artist. I promise you that I am from this planet.